One of the vital keys to becoming assertive is to understand that communication is 30% verbal and 70% non-verbal. Experts estimate that the brain picks up nonverbal cues in a fifth of a second—which is much faster than verbal ones.
So it looks like we communicate with our body language much more than we do through talking. Before we even begin to talk, our body language has let others know our feelings and even our thoughts. As we are not always conscious of our non-verbal signals, such as eye contact, how we stand, how we use our hands etc., knowing how these signals are interpreted by others is vital if you don’t want your body language to sabotage your relationships with others.
Most of us are a mixture of the four categories of behavior – passive, passive/aggressive, aggressive and assertive. Today we take a peek at the eye contact manifested by each behavior type and learn what it conveys to others. As the name suggests, the passive/aggressive has the characteristics of both types so eye contact will be a mixture of both as well.
PASSIVE – See also aggressive and assertive
Actions:
- Avoids eye contact
- Looks at floor or feet
- Is unable to look at the other person for more than an instant
What it conveys:
- “I am afraid”
- “I don’t know what to say”
Actions:
- Looks away during conversation
- Looks at phone or watch
What it conveys:
- That the person is dishonest or
- That the person is bored or
- That the person is disinterested